Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Leap of Faith

Today is Leap Day. 

An extra day that makes 366 instead of 365 this year.

An extra day of life, one might say. Nothing short of a miracle.

I'm not a religious man nor do I believe 100% in the Invisible Man In The Sky who watches whatever I do with stern disapproval. But I do believe in leaps of faith. 

I believe there are times when we are faced with tough decisions that can change the course of our lives forever. It is during these times that we must take those leaps. Fling ourselves headlong into the unknown, and hope for the best outcome. Whether the issue is love, work, or just how to live our lives in general, at one point or another we have - or will come to - points where we either take that leap, or stay right where we are, always looking with longing at the other end of whatever pass we chose not to traverse.

I've often said that we regret most the things we didn't do, rather than the things we did, because we would always be plagued with the what-ifs. So here's to the leaps of faith we have taken, and the ones we have yet to take, as we cross from life's mesas to even higher grounds.

While we're on the subject of faith, I've always enjoyed Steve Martin's work, and his turn as a traveling huckster masquerading as a religious revival preacher/ faith healer in 1992's Leap of Faith has always stayed with me as a study in transformation. That, and this song from the same film, remind me that whether we like it or not, every so often, we need changes in our lives - and often they come when we least expect them, and they don't always come easily.

So take that leap, if one is needed. As David Lloyd George said: "Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated; you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps."

And as I enter into another year of my life, maybe it's time for a few more leaps of my own, too.

Bonus Lyrics:

Change in my life - Leap of Faith

Standing cold and scared on top of Blue Hill,
There came one moment when I lost my will.
I prayed for mercy, " Please, Lord take me away,
Or give me sunshine where I only see grey."
The past had a hold on me, it can't be denied,
And the changes didn't come easily.


I've been lonely, I've been cheated, I've been misunderstood;
I've been washed up, I've been put down, and told I'm no good.
But with you I belong, 'cause you helped me be strong.
There's a change in my life since you came along.

Oh ooh woh. Woh hohh yeahhh...

Now I don't mind working so hard every day,
And I don't pay no mind to what people say.
'Cause after all the pain I've been through,
I'd give up everything just to love only you.
All my life I've held my head bent in shame,
But now I've found you, and with you I'll remain.
Don't you know...


I've been lonely, I've been cheated, I've been misunderstood;
I've been washed up, I've been put down, and told I'm no good.
But with you I belong, 'cause you helped me be strong.
There's a change in my life since you came along.

Oh ooh woh. Woh hohh yeahhh...

Now a man gets crazy when his life is all wrong,
And a heart gets weary when it doesn't belong.
When the road gets rocky, Lord, you've got to keep on,
Let the new light come shining on through.

(Repeat chorus X2 and fade out)

Monday, February 27, 2012

And Chloë Makes Three

Good evening, Manila.

I'm rudeboy.

It's recently come to my attention that I have only one piddling entry for February on this blog.

There are only three reasons why I fail to write regular entries :

1. Too much work to do.

2. Too little to write about.

3. Too depressed to give a flying fuck.

The answer, in this case, is that I've been very busy lately. Jetsetting to Indochina with Inès  de la Fressange, Karl Lagerfeld, and the ghost of Halston. Deconstructing the oeuvre of Erich von Stroheim at the Palladium with Lisa Bonet, Koo Stark, and the Duchess of Cornwall. Imbibing sophisticated adult refreshments for three straight nights until the crack of dawn with Ted Skakel, Charles Manson, and the Boston Strangler.

But to make up for the lack of posts on this shortest of months, I've enlisted the help of none other than Oscar-nominee Chloë Sevigny*, to enlighten us with her take on several events that, and I quote, "have recently come to my attention."

Let's start off with this morning's Oscars, and work our way back from there.


Something for my fellow Piscean B-Days:

And finally, another dig at V-Day:

* In actuality, comedian and writer Drew Droege, who has made  viral video sensations  out of parodying the name-dropping actress/it girl/designer/hipster.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Veni, VD, Vici

I'm so happy Kris has finally found her true love. 
Too bad all that was left of him could fit into a can.

Ah, yes.

It's the annual celebration of Kris Aquino's birthday. A day that should live forever in infamy.

Roosevelt said so.

And speaking of things that should live forever, it's also V-Day.

A charming, sentimental tradition, considering that unlike, say, HIV or herpes, love doesn't last forever.

While, unlike Krissy, we can't all find our true loves in a can of tuna, enjoy your little state visits to Victoria Court tonight, nevertheless. And in celebration of gonorrhea making the list of things that outlive love, let me rape your childhoods  leave you with this saucy little song from Ariel, The Little Lethal Mermaid:

Bonus Lyrics:

Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think
My collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl -
The girl who has everything?

Look at my face
Check out my chest
Wouldn't you say
Clamshell bras are the best?
Looking around me you'd think
Sure - I could tap that.

But as you know I'm a merfolk
And so I'm a fish down below
You want great human looks?
I got half.
But who cares?
No big deal.
I want moooooore.

I wanna be like the people are.
Not with scales but with real genitalia
Rolling around on the - what do you call them?
Oh - sheets.

Flipping my fins I can't get too far
Cunts are required for nearly everything
Selling myself down the -what's that word again? -

Up where they bang
Up where they bone
Up where they stay up at night all alone
I've never cum
Wish I could have
A vagina.

What would I give
If I could live
With a vibrator
What would I pay
To spend a day
Warm with a cock

Betcha on land
They'd understand
That they don't
Fuck off all their daughters
Wet young women
Sick of nothing
Ready to lay

I'm ready to do
What the people do
What's your position
And what's your name and
What's gonorrhea and why does it -
what's the word - buuuuuurrrrrnnnn?

When's it my turn
Wouldn't I love
Love to fuck like they do up above

Not celibate
Wish I could have
A vagina