Monday, January 16, 2012

Rattle and Hum

This being 2012 and this being my first post for this banner year, let's kick it off with some End of the World shit.

Last week, all across Costa Rica a strange sound could be heard that scientists could not ascribe to atmospheric or meteorological phenomena.

A low, booming hum that has, so far, defied a clear and single explanation.

As a matter of fact, this strange sound has increasingly been heard all over the world, particularly during the period from August to September 2011. Knock yourselves out:





Florida, USA

The one above, from the Ukraine, sounds almost...sentient. Like some nasty, humongous, angry monster awakening:

Listen to the monster's bellows. Sounds familiar.

Or aliens.

The Tripods' horns sound awfully familiar - and menacing - as well.

Always the frickin' aliens.

Raise the roof.

Conspiracy theorists and religious nutjobs have ascribed the mysterious hum, respectively, to anything from HAARP to the strumpets trumpets of Judgment Day. 

No, no. The other Judgment Day, Gov.

Others have proposed that it is literally the Call of Cthulhu.

"You called? I was in the shower."

Yet others have posited that it might be the Behemoth and his bff, the Leviathan, come to destroy us once and for all.

B&H, just chillin', y'all.

Bah. If Ghostbusters was to be believed, I thought the Destructor would be a little more...cute and cuddly.

Have I been lied to all this time, Mr. Stay-Puft?

But really - what is this pulsating, rumbling, ominous sound?

It sure ain't Justin Bieber singing "U Smile" 800% slower while the world burns.

Damn you, you Canadian lesbian! Damn you to hell!

On second thought, I take that back.

I have heard the sound of our doom, and its name is Bieber.


  1. This reads like a 9gag post. Coming from you, that worries me. Is everything okay?

  2. Ahahahaha @ Nyl.

    Aside from my usual intermittent depressive bouts, I'm as fine as you are. And I love the 9gag reference hehehehehheehehe.

    Why does this worry you?

    1. Ugh, I can't get my threaded comments to work. I think it's cuz I modded my template. grr

      and this worries me just because i like worrying. I sometimes get the feeling that when you come out with posts like this, it somehow coincides with some crisis in your personal life that you'd rather not talk about. hence the youtube laden post. thoughts?

    2. How very perceptive this citybuoy is ;)

      I was actually a little hard-pressed as to what to post for my first 2012 entry - not that it really matters. I've had more than a few emo moments since that "Tipping Point" post, but I didn't want to open the year with rice whine - again, not that it matters in the great scheme of things, but obviously, it mattered enough for me to wait until January was half-over.

      I was re-reading my old posts over the holidays and concluded that I was more of a fun guy when I started blogging. Therefore, I have decided to balance the emo-ness of my more recent posts with some shallow trivia such as this.

      Otherwise, I may not live long enough to see the Apocalypse.

      True story :D

  3. last year it was the dead animals, now this.

    have not heard anything, but i'm sure di tayo pahuhuli dyan. mga pinoy pa. you just wait, we'll hear something soon.

    but it is something scary.

    1. I don't recall if I did a piece on the dead animals, but yes, gillboard, I remember the hue and cry over that. You'd think the Almighty hadn't rained frogs and sent swarms of locusts and visited plagues upon mankind before.

      We haven't heard this mystic hum yet in these shores - maybe because it's drowned out by the filibustering of our politicians. But I'm more fascinated than scared. It's like Godzilla is waking up and he's about to do some worldwide remodeling.

      Also: so this is reply threading.

  4. Somehow Rudi you sounded giggly throughout the post. Jumpy. Upbeat (?) The barrage of videos was almost telling... In a very enjoyable way.

    I look forward to funny unBeiberish hiccoughs such as this one. Although am pretty sure this ain't a hiccup.

    1. Glad you enjoyed it, Kiks. And yes, yes, you got me.

      All those videos were just part of an elaborate set-up leading to a Justin Bieber sucker punch.

      Or were they?

      Srsly, I was smirking more than giggling while i was putting this entry together - proof positive that mockery brings me more pleasure than a blowjob.

      Or does it??

      Also, if you read my reply to Nyl above, be assured that this is most definitely not a hiccup.

      I shall make this the pertussis to end all pertussises.

      Or shall I???

  5. I commend you on your desire to balance things. :)

    I remember you were different when you started but then again, weren't we all? lol

  6. I thought you were recommending a documentary or something. Lol.

    Wonder how Pinoys would react if they get to hear that strange noise bellowing over Manila?

    1. Stitch those YouTube clips together and we'd have a documentary, Mugen.

      Assuming we can hear it at all over Manila's already-infernal din, I imagine the local reaction to The Hum would be a toss-up between biblical panic and "Noise Pollution. It's more fun in the Philippines!" memes.