Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Tipping Point

When do you say "Enough"?

Many of us endure many things in the name of - ugh, just saying it makes me wince, but - love. But it need not be just about romantic affairs. We put up with many things in our varied relationships with family, friends, colleagues, and the general human race.

We forgive. We give second, third, fourth, almost unlimited chances. We turn a blind eye to the most obvious of deceptions and lies and somehow, deep inside, hope and hope that things will change, that he will change, that "love" is worth fighting for.

But to love is to be human, and to be human is to be fallible and weak.

And while love may start out strong, the erosion of eros starts silently, almost imperceptibly, until the cracks are too visible to ignore and the facade starts to crumble.

I've been an angry, angry man far longer than I care to remember.

And now I'm just tired.

Too exhausted to be sad enough to shed tears at a good-riddance good-bye I had known was inevitable.

Too worn-out to even reflect if I would ever regret the harsh but true words I sent.

Too weary to even worry about regret.

What a surprise.

Something as prosaic as fatigue turns out to be the tipping point.


  1. whatever it is, i hope everything will be alright
    enjoy ur holiday

  2. I learned recently that everything has its inevitable conclusion. We just have to man up when that moment comes.

    I think you just need some rest. But I guess you already know that. Hope you find your inner peace soon. And I hope your year ends in a positive note.

  3. Whatever you are going through, I sincerely wish for you to find peace.

  4. It feels odd to send a hug to a complete stranger so I will send you a reassuring nudge to your shoulder instead. I hope better things are going to unravel ahead of you. xx

  5. one doesn't know when is enough when he doesn't know too much...

  6. This post is so raw it actually hurts.

  7. Oh Rudie. How are you?

    So ... it finally happened. The end of the end. Did it happen the way you wanted it to?

    Sometimes, I think what I would give to see love affairs end happily. But as André Aciman says, that's for an otra venida.

    "The one to come ... that storehouse of might-have-beens and second-time-arounds where all of life's blemishes are polished over and edged in gold and filigree."

    You may be a teetotaler, but I think it's time for a drink.


  8. This post got my mind playing Rachel Yamagata and Adele.

    I don't know much about you but I guess you will always have Paris.

  9. Oh Rudie, for once, I find myself on the other side of the fence. I admire that you're brave enough to even declare a tipping point. And when all else fails, there's always KC.

    “May mga hinahanap ako na basic lang na hahanapin ng isang babae sa isang boyfriend, sa isang lalaki. Pero, masakit man sabihin, hindi ako yung, siguro nag-fail din ako dahil hindi ako yung kailangan niya sa buhay niya. Or hindi ako yung hinahanap niya sa buhay niya. And hindi, hindi ko mabigay sa kanya yung kailangan niya.”

  10. @ Nyl : Bravery had nothing to do with it. It's just that the tipping point very quickly led to the breaking point, is all.

    Also, I must sheepishly confess that thoughts of poor KC did cross my mind when I was reviewing this entry prior to posting. But I figured, what the heck. We both knew what the other was, we hoped things would change, we lost.

    C'est la vie.

    @ Kiks : Maybe I should've just stuck to loving Paris to the exclusion of all else.

    @ Kane : I'd be dishonest if I didn't say I wish it could've ended some other way. Some nicer way. Some...loving way.

    Then again, there really is no easy way, is there?

  11. @ Tristan : Thank you - and my apologies - for your empathy.

    @ the geek : In that case, I knew enough.

    And since he wouldn't - or couldn't - change, the change had to come over me instead.

    @ RedWriter : Hello, dear stranger, and thanks for that reassuring nudge. It made me smile despite myself ;). I don't know what winds brought you to my blog, but I'm glad you passed by. Thank you.

  12. @ Mugen : Thanks for your kind thoughts.

    Peace. I really need that.

    @ Manech : You ought to know by now that I don't believe in ever afters.
    Still, I'm fool enough to shed a tear or two when a love affair is over.

    Thanks for the positive thoughts and wishes. I hope to find rest, for I am weary. And I hope to find peace, for all my worries.

    @ Ming : Thanks, Ming, but due to the nature of my work, holidays mean nothing to me.

    But I hope you enjoyed yours.